everything is a choice

after everything has been said and done - even though this turmoil was caused because of him , or happened with him - i would rather endure things like such with him than be down a smoother path with anybody else. undeniably , i could point out his faults in a heartbeat - but then again i could do that same with myself, so who am i to judge or point fingers.

i must say this was a great lesson on what being married would feel like. admittedly i was flustered and i didnt want to think about him or anything pertinent to the topic as i got ready for church, but i saw the little bracelet lying on my table and i put it on. rather symbolic i would say to what a wedding ring means - to have to love somebody everyday by choice even when its difficult.

im lucky that its natural right now though, that i dont have to fight my feelings like some other people would. at the end of the day , aha , after everything has been said and done, i find myself simply wanting his hugs & for verbal reassurance that we'll make it through .