ive changed alot from sort of who i was before . all the ... pride? ... the get at me mentality and putting myself through stupid stuff . although sometimes i still wish i could revert back to it - but i know thats not what im supposed to do . one thing that still holds is the ride or die concept . it really upsets me that im losing contact with so many people . when i said that i would be there through everything , i really meant it and im such a disappointment knowing that im not there right now . its hard to make an effort to purposely let people know that you still have their back . let me rephrase though , the action is easy - could be as much as sending out an email , but the commitment and i suppose the notion that you gotta be the one to take the initiative and send a ton of emails out (or whatever way you can keep in touch) and keep up with everyone is sort of a hassle .

such a small hassle though . i gotta make things right this reading week .