truth of the matter is that ive gone into a slump lately . this hibernation isnt without reason . i dont want to go to church nor do i want to go to acf because lately ive been feeling so distanced from God , and i dont want to go to fellowship or church just for show - i dont want to be there if i cant find God there .
but if i dont go to church/acf then how do you expect to find God again? ha , id much rather sit here and try to listen to him or delve in His word to try seek and find . to an extent it is not true that i have blinded myself to Him . i know full well that i am nothing without Him and that through prayer and through His word have saved me from the worst of my thoughts . but all in all i am probably also extremely stubborn and for some ridiculous reason my heart is unwilling to comply to the direction in which my knowledge lies .
so for those who happen to stumble upon this , please just leave me be & i pray that my Father will have mercy on me . i am the prodigals son .
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