really ? use my past against me ? i feel like ive moved on and learned to improve so much . ive regretted all that i could regret and some, and then taken many steps to fix the vices of my past. why is everything that ive done still used against me for people to judge me or to make assumptions, especially when i dont even talk to any of you ?  if anything , this doesnt make me angry , rather it just hurts a lot .

Father teach me joy , joy in all circumstances . teach me acceptance & to be slow to speak and judge . let me not be discouraged by these things, but continue to pursue you & change myself for you despite what other people say or think .

truthfully im not strong at all . this has worn me out and made me very confused. i know i always escape from my problems but i cant wait to go back to london again ...

if anything Father God , give me patience . and let me be satisfied with You and only You .